TOP FIVE FOR EPISODE #49: Tips For A First Date

This week on the Top Five, I counted down our top five tips for a first date:

#5. Show up on time. Don't be late to your date, it sets a bad tone for the evening. Your time is not more precious than theirs, trust us.

#4. Don't assume your date is picking up the tab - and don't assume your date wants you to pick up the tab. When the check comes or when it's time to pay, offer to go Dutch or - if you wanna pay for it all - ask your date if that's okay with him or her.

#3. Paying for the date does NOT mean you are entitled to a second date, a hug, kiss, or sexual favor at the end of the night...and you need to be okay with that, otherwise you're a sexist scumbag. (This applies to men and women alike, folks.)

#2. Be nice - and what we mean by that is even if you don't think you want to go on a second date, respect the person you're with. Don't lie or make up excuses if they ask for a second date or to extend your current date; when you're just dying to leave, thank them for spending time with you, and let them know that you don't wish to go on another date or you don't wish to continue the evening. Bow out gracefully, and quickly, because...

#1. Still be nice even if your date is an a**hole. His or her feelings may be hurt, or hey maybe the person is a sexist scumbag - doesn't matter, that's still a fellow human being (granted an undoubtedly immature human being) and it's best to just leave. Don't stick around trying to explain yourself and don't stick around taking any back talk from them. Also, if they try to hassle you via email or text, block or report them (whichever you can do and/or feel comfortable doing). Move on with your life, and (hopefully) that a**hole will move on with his or hers.

Episode #07 Top Five: My Favorite Bits of Work and Career Advice

#5 - Don't present problems without solutions - Don't be the person who just complains all the time about every little thing. If you want to present a problem, think about presenting it along side of a solution as well. If you present an option for how said problem can be fixed, you're more likely to be heard.

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#4 - Own your mistakes and move on - I fuck up all the time. I'm cool with that. If you make a mistake, don't waste any time trying to hide it. Own it, fix it if you can, and move on. Plain and simple.

#3 - Don't make your co-workers your surrogate family - No matter who you are or what you think, a work/life balance is necessary. When you start making your co-workers your new best friends and family it's increasingly harder to find this balance. I'm not saying don't be friends, but make sure to have a life outside of the office.

#2 - If you hate it, don't make it a career - Work, jobs, and careers take up a significant part of our lives. Why would you want to spend this significant amount of time doing something you can't stand doing? If you're in a bind or just need to pay the bills, by all means, do what you have to do, but don't make a career about it. Your sanity will thank you.

#1 - Find what you love and go for it - and don't let anyone decide what you love but yourself - There is nothing more gratifying then making money by doing things that you love to do. Don't let anyone tell you about yourself - you know what you like - Go for it.

Episode #05 Top 5: Worst Sex Tips

We've all seen them around. You pick up your favorite magazine just for gals' and it's filled with fun sex tips you can't wait to try out when your man gets home.

Here's the rub:

There are tons of sex tips that just don't make sense, sound like they hurt, or are just generally going to lead to disaster.

Here's a quick five:

5. "Be especially careful if he is neat, well groomed, or spending a lot of time at the gym, he's probably getting it from somewhere else." (Yes, because being neat, well presented, and working on your fitness MUST mean he's cheating on you. Please, tell me.....what does it mean when he remembers my birthday, takes me out to dinner, or opens a door for me? Does that mean his Mother doesn't like me?)

4. "Give him a beer facial - the combination of the egg whites and yeast in hops hydrates and improves skin elasticity...but don't tell him this, just say "my lips can't resist your delicious beer flavored face.". (Because there's nothing sexier than a secret facial at the price of making yourself look like a beer crazed crazy. If you threw beer in my face, I'd be all set. And not in the good way.)

3. "Take your favorite desserts to bed, like a can of whipped cream or chocolate sauce. (Have you ever actually tried this? The smell whipped cream makes when mixed with unspeakable acts should probably be on a list with other weapons of mass destruction. Seriously, it's disgusting. Not to mention the clean up sucks.)

2. "Ask him what songs he listened to in Junior High and play them during a hookup. It will take him back to that time when he was in an almost permanent state of horniness triggering his primal urges. (Am I the only one who thinks most guys don't need help in the horniness department? Why don't you just ask him if his 13 year old nephew is single while you're feeling particularly pedophilia-like.)

1."Sprinkle pepper under his nose right before he climaxes. Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel good effects." (If you somehow manage to remember to bring pepper to bed with you, then manage to simultaneously get him to climax while sprinkling just the right amount of pepper under his nose, then you are a goddamn superhero and I want to be friends with you.)